RE RE evaluating my Life

When I originally started this blog my intentions were pretty much to have a super fantastic blog that allowed me to share MY thoughts, My feelings, and MY experience with hair, fashion and in general 1 GENERAL "niche".    Every great net worker or blogger alike agreed that it's important to have a niche for your audience and that being to vague or too random would cause you to lose your audience.  Well it couldn't be more FARTHER or Further (you pick which one is grammatically correct)  from who I am.  I hate to sound cliche but...I AM NOT my hair, or JUST fashion or a NICHE.


I am emotions, and fickleness, and political views and relationships, and inspiration, and spirituality and love and hate, and mistakes and sexuality and then I swing all the way back to being just a simple prude, whew!  I am 3 dimensional.  I have so many views I can't possibly fit into the 3 areas that I ridiculously have been trying to bend and merge into.  That is no one's fault at all, but mine.

 That was the goal the focus of this blog.  I wanted to welcome new experiences and trips, heartfelt situations and LIFE and share with all that no you are not the only one that enjoys eating rice with melted butter and a drizzle of apple sauce on the side!  I want to share areas that I have no degree in but have successfully mastered like adolescence and motherhood.  I want to wrap a cyber hug around you and make you feel warm and cozy and shout out YES your stupid boss is stupid but YOU MUST PAY YOUR bill's.  I want you to laugh at my failed cake attempts and get your advice on how I should handle a visitor that has extended their visit a few month's too long.

So as we rejoice over the holiday's and the upcoming closing of this year don't be surprised of the possible conversations that may arise.  I hope that it will be as interesting as your favorite magazine, as welcoming as southern hospitality and as real as the reality that you encounter everyday.  Remember be encouraged, and be inspired to be you.  After all no one else can do it like you can! Muah

One End Is a New Beginning

Amazingly the year is coming to a fast yet subtle end.  The drama of yesterday has subsided, the worries of today have calmed and although I didn't exactly conquer the world I'm pleased with the events that have unfolded throughout the year.

I tried almost everything that I wanted to.  I failed more than I succeeded.  I embraced my talents and found new ones yet through it all I am genuinely pleased with what has unfolded.  Now I want to take these last few day's, weeks, hours to reflect.  Give inventory on how I WILL improve.  How my next move will be my best move. 

However, like a relationship that must have it's proper closure I will remain loyal and focus to give careful thoughts and attention to the days that remain.  After all the end is only the beginning to our next chapter.
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It's not that hard!

Sweet simple and to the point.  That's how my natural hair routine IS!  I haven't become a product junkie, the economy won't allow that.  I don't think that just because it works for you and we were born on the same day that it will definitely work for me.  My initial day's of my journey were exciting and I was intrigued by the variety of curls and kinks that my sisters in the journey possessed.  However, I made up my mind that I was not going to allow this journey to over take me.  So with that being MY case, I have had the pleasure of having great hair days and dastardly day's.  Days that a hat was all that would tame my mane and days that my curls gave plenty whiplash.  I know that many say it's hard and many say it's a cake walk but in the end it's what do you say!  I say it's not that hard. 

Find your groove, find your lane!  Master that hairstyle and wear it well.  Find that product and make it work for YOU (Whether it's 100% natural or not...after all you don't seem to mind all the by products that you are consuming IE, Mickey D's I'm just saying)  so be the leader of YOUR strands take them by the palm and demand them to listen and let them know it's not that HARD.

Don't Beat yourself up....There's alway's Tomorrow

I was sitting and thinking.  Before I even realized it I was here!  Yup, you're here with me.  You're at the end of  the just a minute, the i need an hour, a day, a month heck, almost a year and here WE are again! Where, what, when, why, did I, didn't I or should I have.  How did I get here.... Sigh, exhale and yet we're puzzled and here. 

Now if your thinking What the **** was that first paragraph about then to you I say congratulations on defining where and what you wanted to do and pursuing it.  This article is most likely not for you.  However, if that paragraph engulf who and where you are right now, I want and NEED you to know that you are not alone.  I also want you to know that it's not to late!

"We only have 60 more day's to complete that vision that goal, that degree, find the right (blank) or get out of this situation!"  To you I say stop!  Stop putting yourself in a time box.  Goals are important but life sometimes happens.  Sometime inevitable circumstances and events demand our attention.  Sometime a moment just to go with the flow takes us into a longer phase than intended and that's okay.

So, stop right now and let's do an inventory check.  Let's evaluate where WE are.  *Breathe! Yes the year will soon be changing but guess what, from this day forward you still have 365 days to get it right and today, right now is day 1!  There's no step program, there's no purging of issues it's just as simple as making up your mind.  Allow today to be just that, today.  Build for tomorrow and enjoy your progress step by step.  Figure out what is mandatory and build from that point.  While your focused look in the mirror smile and release yourself,  because after all there is always tomorrow.

Natural Hair...Elegant?

As my hair anniversary and birthday approach, I asked myself, "Can natural hair be grown and sexy?"  I mean it's big, it's ecclectic, and it's is definately fierce.  But is it sexy?  Is it exotic? does it lure or captivate your husband, fiance or boyfriend's eye?  I know your thinking, "it's how you carry yourself or your thinking it's the confidence that you exude through the individual."  But can we be real, for real, for real?  Is our hair sexy and if so which hair styles exemplify the look of sophistication, the look of a renasance classic.  Which look screams black tie event or all white party?

I may be coming off or seeming as if I don't believe that our gorgeous, coily, volumized locs can display itself as sophisticated, vibrant young and sexy but that couldn't be further from the truth.  From the tappered fade all the way to the pinned up loc I know that our hair has the amazing ability to lend itself to mandating attention by passer bys to admire every curl tossed all the way to bone straight silence. 

My question is "Are we displaying this side of our natural hair."  Have we been conditioned to think that because we are natural that we have to ALWAY'S display our hair in it's natural state.  I challenge US.  We have accepted our hair for the glory of how it grows, now let's have fun and shut the nay sayer's mouth's.  Let's show them natural IS sexy sophisticated and we wouldn't have any other way.  The next time that affair comes up flaunt your hair not, a wig, a weave or an extension but your hair in whatever form it decides to show it's "Diversity"

Must Haves for Naturals

Okay I won't go on with a huge introduction I'm just going to make a list of great items to have for natural or just healthy hair.  No reason, no purpose just a grocery list of products.  Later if I remember I'll list the benefits.  Here goes.

An excellent Moisturizing conditioner.  My favorite, Herbal Essence Totally Twisted
Leave in conditioners
Olive Oil
Shea Butter
Gel. My favorite, Eco Styler Gel
Baking Soda
Flax Seed
Water

Bobby Pins
Hair Pins
Soft Brushes
Wide tooth comb

Head bands
Hair accessories
Satin bonnet
Spray bottle
plastic containers
Detangler

These are the basic things that have allowed my hair to thrive I hope they do the same for you.

Unprepared for Bad hair day...Try this!

We don't have something to do or go somewhere important to go everyday and today happened to be the one day that I was to do nothing.  The last of the lazy days of summer I will sit effortlessly doing nothing.  I sitting and enjoy the view from my back yard patio and enjoy a refreshing class of water.  No frills, no whistles, no bells, just old fashioned relaxation.  Those were my plan until my phone rang alerting me of a text at 4am asking if I were going prayer walking today!  By today I assumed they meant when the sun actually rise for what I call the "Morning".  Sigh, my morning, my day that I actually thought was still was night was interrupted by a charity request which I love and am always ready to do, so without hesitation my simple reply to my 4am disturbance, *cough I mean invitation was a gracious, yes.
The alarm rang and I casually collected my thoughts to prepare for the invitation that I had accepted only to be greeted by my untamed mane that I intentionally gave no thought to.  I had every intention to actually do nothing. Here are a few options to get through those unruly, I had no plans hair day's.

OPTION 1

A wig.  No need to explain this one.  The color length and maintenance are already prepared.  Slide it on (with of coarse a wig cap to protect your hair) and proceed with plans.

OPTION 2

Wash and go puff.  Wash your hair, add a moisturizing conditioner that will allow enough slip and glide to your hair to detangle.  Carefully gather hair to the crown while neatly laying your edges down with gel product of choice, and use that wonderful tie of your choice to hold in place.  For the neat together look apply a scarf around the edges to lay fly away's down.

OPTION 3

A hat.  Not my favorite but it is an option.  Yes, you can rock as smooth as a fedora or as casual as a baseball cap either way wear it and wear as if you meant to!  Again be sure to protect your hair from pulls and tugs by placing a lining in the base of the hat.

OPTION 4

Stay home.  Yes, enjoy the one day you have a week to do absolutely NOTHING.  Boy this water is great!

When to get PROFESSIONAL HAIR HELP!



bglhonline.com

So your on this journey with me.  I have to assume this considering after all your reading a "natural hair blog." Or maybe you are considering leaving the white Crisco alternative alone.  Either way let me warn all of you back of the house, in your bathroom late at night COSMOTOLOGISTS!  Yes, COSMOTOLOGIST.  Eh hum,  SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP WHEN TRIMMING, DUSTING, OR CUTTING YOUR HAIR. 

Yes, I am yelling because, yes it is that serious.  I have been natural for 11 months eagerly educated myself and researched and cross canceled...You get the picture I studied, every technique known yet I made the reckless mistake of UNEVENLY  big chopping.  Now this was not a problem at all in my earlier phases but I tell you Bob, or Karen or you, I hate that I now embark on my 1 year anniversary after have retained a bit of length yet in my 11th month noticed that I will at some point have to ...cut a CHUNK to even it. 


Now I know that this doesn't have to be done now I can just let it go slowly but my point being I could have avoided this had I not Big Chopped at 2am in the morning after watching endless hours of my fellow Youtubers!  As a whole I am pleased with my length retention and a great deal of it has to with protective style as well as my 6 month transitioning.  I have to say a piece of me sure wishes that the whole of my head was as long as the piece that effortlessly touches the collar bone of my neck.  Sigh, lesson has been learned so YOU don't have to. 

The Simple Love of My Natural Hair

Okay, I am Natural no shock or surprise.  It's quite obvious when you take a glance at the texture of my hair.   I love the freedom that I have with my hair.  I love the way that there's no stress if my hair gets wet.  I love the way that my hair responds when I pamper it.  I love the fact that I can actually eat my products, meaning that the cost of beauty supplies has greatly decreased.

 I must admit that I miss the days of literally washing and literally going.  Those were the days of foundation.  I used those initial day's to spoil, show off and spoil my curls.  That maybe the reason they respond so obediently.  I miss the day's of just wrapping my hair and going to bed.  Finding new styles in my new length and allowing my hair to welcome a friendly conversation is so refreshing.

I realize that the word transition is not isolated to transitioning from perm to natural.  I find myself constantly transitioning from length to length, regimen to regimen and product to product.  Each phase demanding to be recognized for it's new texture and specialized need for care.

 I know that I have options and I know that this is a journey but for now I am enjoying the simplicity of my hair and truly enjoying the journey.  No matter the length, the new Scientology, or the in product, I sincerely am loving the simple nature of my hair.

Finding Your way out of the Storm

You smile, you laugh, you even respond to questions, but where are you.  Behind the mask and the make-up, beyond the status of great a house, awesome job and wonderful kid's where did YOU go?  You keep saying your okay and you have actually begin to believe it, but only long enough to make it through the day or to distract someone close to you into believing the illusion of happiness and contentment that you have created.  Why can't I just believe that I am happy? Because your heart is sending consistent unpleasant reminders in the rhythm of a skipped beat or a racing thump.  Why Can't you believe? Because your stomach is hosting a party for the Botanical Gardens, invitation of 100,000 butterflies to assemble in the lower quadrant of your belly.  Why are you still not believing your okay, after you have convinced yourself for yet another day?  Because your mind runs laps all night as you fight to convince it to give you JUST ONE NIGHT OF REST.  But it can't! It can't stop thinking of the mistakes made that caused this turn, the people lost or the experiences not pursued.  But you can make a decision that your happiness is no longer going to be dictated by your mind, by your physical feelings, your emotional attitude or your social status.  No, today you are going to take control of the thoughts that haunt and keep you bound and imprisoned and you are going to see the clouds dissipate into a bright sun shining future.

How?  How can I train my mind to ignore the very thing that plagues me and frustrates me daily?  How can I ignore the lack or the ignorance that I am daily surrounded by.  I'll tell you how, by simply letting go!  Are you surprised?  Are you upset by my answer?  Did you expect an answer that was somehow rooted into deep meditation and theology?  Maybe you needed a 12 step plan to help you walk daily through the guidelines allowing you to rehearse and re-enact the reason you are in the emotional state that you are in.  I feel you!  My ability to closely relate to the emptiness, the unfulfilled void that longs for purpose and that inability to cope through life's daily bullies qualifies me to be the perfect candidate to tell you to Simply, LET IT GO!!!  I had my own twister in fact I have had to many to number.  But after you scream, like that 2 year old, cry like you just got the whoppin' of your life, kick, swing, fall....And when your through collect yourself, exhale one last time and release it.


Your issues are no surprise to you and they certainly didn't arrive over night, so give yourself a minute to evaluate the cinder block layer's of hurt, and pain that you have allowed to sashay into your life.  Now are you ready? Name that thing one by one, out loud and evict it from your heart.  Remove the debris that has infiltrated the halls of you heart so you can move pass this stage of your life.  I'll do it with you debt you must go I will be prosperous, unforgiveness you can no longer choke the life from me, I forgive now by faith despite the persons apology, depression I decide today that you are no longer needed or wanted I receive Joy and strength and remind myself that my happenings can no longer dictate my happiness! Sigh, breathe embrace yourself look at what you can be when you just take off the mask and make it through the storm.  After all most storms have beautiful rainbow's waiting at the end.  So it isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about finding the strength to make it through the healing process during the storm.

Not about hair, but hear me out!!!

Bible study has left me with a Selah for thought. Those of you who really know me, know that I don't mind being the common day martyr. If a question needs to be asked and your afraid I'll ask, if the majority of us have an issue I'll speak for the people. I've learned years ago that I was a trail blazer, never bothered me none. But tonight at Bible Study as I spoke for those who to often are shot down or misunderstood. I felt the criticism of those I spoke for!! Not to far from a place that I once was, topics of what's perverse can and can't be done etc, etc.

I started thinking about Kirk Franklin's lyrics, when he says that church taught us "how to shout and how to speak in tongues but teacher please teach us how to live NOW once the tongues are done." Some people really just don't know, it doesn't make them carnal or playing, they really just don't know! Life is going on marriage, children, bills, gains, loss, etc... We need specific instructions on how God's word is relevant to manage our lives 2011. (and trust it still has power and yes the bible is our instructions) But until they can hear from the Holy Spirit, our teacher, there are some areas that they may continue to miss until the conviction and relationship with God comes.

 There are areas that to the church may seem taboo, but a new generation of people are arriving they wanna know and understand why a thing is sin, and it won't always be because they operate in rebellion or error but we have to be a people that can be ready to give an in season word. So let's not be the christian that turns up a snooty nose, or the one that runs ahead so far that we forgot when God delivered, from that thing. Allow people to ask, reflect, GROW and the speed that they do will reflect
God's love and compassion that was shown toward them during those seasons of misdirection in their lives!

Sigh... Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 2 Peter 2:2 allow God to nurture those according to the level that they are on.   Although we feed on Him We still are learning DAILY. Thank you Lord for my Pastor, an awesome teacher of God's word and with that I return to...Selah...

Will My New Career Recieve My Natural Strands?

I know that this is a corporate world or society, but are all areas of that society still unreceptive, incompassionate (not really a word but you understand) or plain old ignorant toward our natural stresses.  This is more my point of view than it is a column to inspire or encourage anyone.  Okay, here's the background.  I am searching for a new career; however, I am beginning to feel as if my career search is being hindered by the state of my hair. 

Obviously my skills surfaced above the ca trillion people out there seeking and searching to land the same position that I have applied for yet the return call or initial interview goes to ME!  That alone is something to be excited about and you to will understand if like me you are seeking a new career.  Sadly, somewhere between the call, the interview, and the thank you notes graciously written to exemplify the interviewers words or basically let them know I am still interested...NOTHING!

 I know you think maybe I suck at the interview...Negative I have had mock interviews to drill every question known to man even the unethical ones through colleagues, College professors, friend's, foe's, kid's all putting me in the position of "I'd hire you"  Yes, you probably are saying these people are biased and couldn't drill you as hard as a potential Employer...Negative, I say again.  Many of those mock interviews were done with people who's very career's revolve around this industry and career building, to the point they take pride at having people cry preferably during the process, Shaking my head because I've seen it happen.

I have worn my hair in a bun, the slickest of puffs that at a glance could go for a pony tail.  I have worn my hair super curly and always professional and managed.  Now if you are reading this article and are saying to yourself, (as I initially was) maybe the job just isn't for you, I agree just because I was called and  gave a killer interview doesn't mean that "Uncle Mike" as my competition addressed the interviewer at my last interview, still has to go through the protocol of "offering" the position to other candidates.  Or, maybe your hair wasn't as neat as you thought it was.  I thought this one as well, but had to give myself a raised eyebrow sorta the way they do when they ask me into the interview room. 

If I have to question if my hair is professional enough or accepted for the place that I am interviewing for...then this is not where I NEED or WANT to work.  If my hair in it's tamest form is TOO MUCH for the company applied for, then this isn't where I need to be.  NO, I won't act as such an activist that I refuse career options where the interviewer is so intrigued by my strands that I notice them unconsciously talking to it...okay maybe not so much.  Or that periodically I burst into a "what you lookin' at" or "is there a problem" rant.

I am trying to be reassured after hearing my Arabian Physical Therapist have the need to tell me that he himself preferred African American women that wore their own hair opposed to "the animals they put on there head".  (That is an entirely different hilarious conversation, but reassuring)
 I will simply keep searching and seeking the market that is ready to embrace all of me and remind myself that natural OR relaxed nobody wants an unprofessional staff member representing their company.  So if Jews thick curls, Caucasians flowing locks, and  Asians seamless tresses are accepted in any form then the soft to touch African Americans exotic fullness that my hair possess will wait.

Joy Busters: Anger (An Insensitive Reaction)

This message forward and shared via e-mail and is not my piece. However I found it awesome enough to share.  All credits to the following.

Dr. David Jeremiah

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

Recommended Reading Ephesians 4:25-32

If you've driven a car or been a passenger in one recently, you don't have to be told that anger is an issue in our society. Nearly half of car accidents are speculated to be caused by road rage. It seems that conflicts on the road bring deeper issues to the surface. And, unfortunately, tempers are often the vice of the virtuous. But the Bible clearly tells us that love is not provoked (1 Corinthians 13). Yes, it's possible to be a Christian and struggle with anger. But we should bear in mind the words of theologian Jonathan Edwards, "The grace of God can live with some people with whom no one else could ever live."

So how do we encourage love in a society that tends toward anger? The next time we're faced with an angry person or a situation that would normally warrant an angry response, we can choose to respond in love--allowing that soft answer to turn away anger. But in order to be capable of a gentle, loving response, we need to be constantly connected to the source of love--Jesus Christ!

Anger devours almost all other good emotions. It deadens the soul.
John Piper

 This message forward and shared via e-mail and is not my piece.  However I found it awesome enough to share

Embrace The Stage your in...Even The TWA

Embrace The stage your in...Even if it’s the TWA

So you big chopped now what? You have mastered the all too familiar wash and go and now your bored. You can barely wait to adorn those strands with two strand twist or seductive twist outs and coils that have major hang time. But I warn you not to rush. After all longer hair natural’s envy you in this million degree weather. Embrace the stage that your in and learn from it.

I recently just graduated from what seemed to be an endless time of co wash, apply product and then off to enjoy the cares of life. It couldn't get any better. I was amused by the ease and the liberty that accompanied this new low maintenance style. Yet, 3 months of that and the amusement of how simple it was, was gone! I searched and researched the Internet endlessly trying to find new cute ideas and accessories all while trying to figure out when my first “real” puff would arrive. I knew that only patience would bring what I longed for so I waited, and waited, and waited.

4 months out of my 7 month transition my “growth” came. “ Oh, wow, your hair looks really good and it is growing beautifully!” There, I had the growth that I needed. Let me be clear my hair hadn't gotten any longer than the 3 inches of curls that I had, but the growth came in my maturity. No it wasn't that I lacked confidence because my mind was made up to endure the process once I chopped. The growth came when I learned how to embrace the stage I was in. 

Each stage of my journey from the initial thought has been amazing. My transition allowed me to see that straight hair was not the only way to keep my hair manageable, my big chop allowed me to see that long hair was not the Utopia of beauty, and as my coils and kink’s grow I am learning new hairstyles and how to build health through each stage. Now, I view the stage that I am in as a blessing. I envy the Big chopped girls because after all we are in the dead of summer and let’s face it they have the perfect swimming, and get up and go be fierce hair, and yet I envy the longer haired girls because they have the perfect updo sassy hair. Yet I embrace the stage I am in after all both girls wanna be where us TA’s are LOL. We have the ease of manipulating longer styles to fit our length yet it’s short enough not to work to hard to rock it and becoming overheated. So, as we embrace our stages let’s treat it as we do life. Learn from it, Laugh at it and embrace the stage that we are in.

Although, infancy is the place we all long for in hindsight it’s maturity once reached that we wish we had when we look back.

Fear Abort's Dream's...

I won't edit this.  I want my faults to be exposed.  So for my literary critic's who dare to gaze through the text, be advised that this was from my heart, read with caution (smile).

 An unexpected emotion of encouragement seeped out into the text of this page.   I didn't plan for this to come out but nonetheless it came and now it stand as an encouragement.  Understand that while you wait and prolong your destiny to create GREATNESS that the infancy of your dream may immaturely be aborted.  Oh yeah, that taboo word that we use when we don't want something, can't handle something or just don't have the gut's to continue on with that part of something. Aborted because you rationed that it wasn't  good enough, cool enough, or profitable enough to be birthed.  Then from nowhere a twin to your dream was born.  A twin that looked like the shop, the website, the profession or maybe the adventure that you dreamed.  The one that you couldn't let go and yet was to scared to allow to come to fruition because, your knowledge was low and your money was less and you couldn't get the confident support from the inner voice within and so your dream that you dreamed went dormant and then...aborted.  Away it sifted into the cemetery of dreams where thoughts burst, goals are shattered and normalcy is applauded.  There is a vision that is needed and only you can birth that thing.  So birth it because it doesn't matter how many Restaurants appear or Corporations evolve they all will never amount to the dream the vision or the idea that only you can birth.  After all they all seem to be missing the same chemistry.  They lack your passion, your creativity, your professionalism all wrapped into YOUR compassion.  So again forgive me for the mediocrity of text.  I just wanted to encourage you that you CAN do it...BETTER.  So your computer is light years in the dark ages and you can barely type, go to the library or peck away, but make a step.  So you think that someone else will think it's stupid or useless, and they couldn't be more correct! "WHY" because their not your audience they're not your market, they're not the person that would die if you...ABORT.  I would hate for your life to go by without at least an attempted dream tried.  So go get that free EIN#, tell the world and don't back down.  Dare to dream bigger, higher, faster, stupider, but dream.  Let your childhood ideas begin to overflow out of your mind.  Allow them to seep out of your heart and into the lives of people who have been waiting for the passion and key's to life that you have so long been afraid to let go of because of failure.  If you fail, so what.  Join the many success story's that have conquered defeat and lived to share their success.  So I dare you, To go ahead and birth your dream.  And don't be surprised if you are harboring multiple birth's...But whatever you do don't abort!!!!

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How to Reduce Frizz on Curly Hair

If your like me you have had your share of products claiming to be the end to all frizz.  From the most recent brand to such extremes as natural and herbal curl enhancers, they all claim to be the best for us curly heads. Alas, I have finally found something that will not only tame the frizz and the fuzz but allow an extra few minutes of shut eye in the morning.  "What?", you ask.  Simplicity.  Forget about the newest latest formula, or the infused product that houses all the nutrients that your hair can stand.  Its that simple, SIMPLICITY.  This has become my staple, go to for reducing the fuss from my hair, and yes, I mean FUSS.  Here are the steps that have reduced the midday embaracement, the summer humidity tackle and has given me the freedom to go hatless. Yes! I'm gonna say it again....
SIMPLICITY

First thing's first if you have curl's you know how tedious the affair of washing, drying and styling can be only to look like the cat has coughed up a fur ball on those all to important day's, so let's start from the beginning.

WASHING

Wash your hair with a no sulfate, no silicone, and/or no alcohol based shampoo.  Shampoos with these ingredients are usually big on suds which give the appearance of cleansing your hair, but are actually stripping your strands of its much needed moisture.  Stear clear of these products as much as possible to give your curls  a fighting chance from the beginning.

While washing take it easy on your ends. Treat them as the sensitive delicate patient that they are. After all they're the oldest part and the most fragile part of our hair.  Allowing suds to flow down the ends of your strand should be sufficient enough to cleanse these delicate stresses without the effect of being jerked and pulled.
While washing use the pads of your fingers to gently massage your scalp.  This will promote circulation, which increases blood flow which in turn will help your hair produce the natural oil known as sebum that is needed for moisture and growth.

Your not finished yet.  Be sure to invest in a conditioner known for aiding in the moisturizing and frizz reduction of curl's.  For best results leave your conditioner in for no less than the minimum time required of 3-5 minutes.  The ingredients are fomulated to take that amount of time to saturate into the pores and strands of your hair.  Exceededing the allotted time will not gaurantee any more moisture however, the minimum is required for the conditioner to work properly.

These steps are used when I co-wash as well.  Co-washing is simply skipping the shampoo phase and using your conditioner as a shampoo.  The benefits range from shine, moisture retention and manageablilty depending on the product.  Whenever adding or doing a co-wash as a regimen always allow time to sit in your hair and then rinse in cool water to seal the product.

DRYING

Oddly, those terry clothe towels wreak havoc on curly heads.  If the first step is properly done this is normally where the frizz party begins.  Here's where I had to debunk my old way's of grabbing a towel and giving myself a noogy, then twisting wrapping and pulling to get the access water out.  This is a sure way to have a Ronald Mcdonald head of hair.  Use an old clean cotton t-shirt.  Take the shirt and gently scrunch your hair, gently.  Using your fingers or a Wide tooth comb gently detangle your hair.  DO NOT use a boar or bristle brush it will definately add frizz to your curls.  If you must use a brush a denman or generic version is best.

STYLING

Your almost home free.  When styling you want your hair to be semi damp so that your hair may absorb the hold control or the product of choice that you are placing in it.  Be careful not to put in too much product.  This too will create a mass amount of frizz.  Because curly hair is normally dryer than other textures, moisturize your ends.  This dryness mat be attributed to inability of  natural oils to easily move along the shaft down to the ends which are "thee" most fragile therefore in need of the most moisture.  When aplying scrunch your hair as you apply to encourage your natural pattern to flow.

Simplicity.  That is it.  No product to buy or sale, no formula to produce just a little TLC to have you on your way to luscious, healthy and frizz free curly hair.

If there are any "Simpler" regimens that I may have missed feel free to leave a comment and help the next fried head....I mean Curly!

Natural Hair Envy is Why I became a Natural!

Compliments of Google Image

There I was sitting in the mall's food court staring endlessly at a women's hair.  Her curls streamed the back of her neck endlessly, cascaded over her shoulder's effortlessly and shined radiantly under the soft iridescent light of the fluorescent bulbs in the food court.  I remember wondering what treatment or process she used to get such healthy hair. I sat wishing that I had the nerve to ask her where she got her hair done or what product's she used.  And that, is exactly what I did.  I sat there, wishing,  that one day those long flowing stresses would be my crown and glory.  I had no idea of the ethnicity, the process or if it was a treatment.  I just knew that my hair in its relaxed state was not given the body that this girl's hair was.  So I did as many of us would have done.  I went home and braided my chemically treated strands to give the illusion of wavy or curly hair.  Now this may not have been everyones instinct to do but something about the freedom the health and the style in this woman's curl captivated and intrigued me to no end.  After trying thin braid outs that came out to stringy, thick braid outs that came out to limp and wet braid outs that came out too limp. I finally just twisted my hair out and yes, the illusion of the wave was definitely there, but the volume the strength and the sheen were no where in sight.  Why?  I had no idea as to why at the time.  Several years passed and I still had the vague memory of that woman's crown and glory.  I still remembered the strength that ran through both her presence and her hair.  Time went on and never did I think to ask anyone of that hairstyle.  Often in the past if I seen a fly doobi' or rockin' wrap I wouldn't think twice to ask someone or even the person how they obtained that look.  But I never did, I continued processing my hair and chucked her hair up to simply be hair of a different persuasion.  Before long I notice a new fad that had taken place in many of our hair was singing the same song as woman I had encountered year's earlier.  Was the Jerri curl making a come back in a more chic way, was it that more babies of multiple diversities were being birthed, or was there a new brand of weave on the market. The answer for all was no.  They had simply embraced the hair that naturally toiled, turned and curved out of their scalps.  they had embraced the soft and kinky strands that we had all to often forgotten long after receiving that first flat iron, press out or texturizer.  After all, the purpose was to "maintain" or make our hair "manageable".  But why was their hair so tamed in it's natural "skin"

African American women have been rocking there hair in it's natural persona long before Chris Rock's well known biography "Good Hair" hit media.  They have been silently educating through their display of beauty and effortlessly rocked their hair in all it's glory.   From Whoopi Goldberg to Camille Cosby these women have supported and flawlessly grabbed the attention of the media to show that our hair is not only beautiful but fierce.  Our hair demands attention, it demands to be noticed and more than ever it demands to be accepted.  After several long evenings of seeking and scouring to find the answer to what I was silently wanting, I found it, and everywhere.  I found it on Facebook through I <3 Naturalista, I found it on YouTube through YouTube Alumni and veterans such as NikkiMae, Kimmytube and MsVcharles my favorites.  I found it through twitter and blogs such as Naturalsunshine.ning, and CurlyNikki.  I found it through women that decided to break out of the status quo embrace beauty in all its textures and pave the way for many of us to follow.  My journey has just started and it has been just that, a journey.  I have had to explain, encourage, answer and defend my decision to choose to accept the hair that God has chosen for me.  And I don't mind doing it, because if my hair can stream the back of my neck endlessly, cascaded over my shoulder's effortlessly and shine radiantly under the soft iridescent light of the fluorescent bulbs I have did my part in representing our healthy hair.

Embracing something new!!

So this year has been...New!! Yeah, I know, new to you too! But It's really been new for me!! For the first time in ever I'm not working...for someone else.  I'm not picking up a check from someone telling me when,  how long and if I will work. Ya'll know the feeling.  Then to make matters worst they tell me how much I'll make there.  Well I decided I ain't doing it!! Yes AIN'T doing IT! Fear, uncertainty, and insecurity has been the culprit many of times for my failure to go forward!! Not this time, in the eyeball of bills, in the back of laughter, and many time lack and YES through tears I'm pressing on!!! That doesn't mean wisdom won't lead me because when necessary a hustle must intervene...9am to 1pm part time at Target may have to happen to pay a bill or two.  But no longer will that be my DISTRACTION! I want this journey to be just that, a journey!!! NOT a reflection of how perfect it is AFTER the success but how awesome life is through \CHANGE, GROWTH and, believing that we are our own biggest cheerleader!!! Join me, I don't think it was by accident that you found this blog. Let's agree, commit to write out what we have been so scared to do yet it won't let you go!!!! Let's share the secret successes and public failures of life together with confidence that you'll be encouraging me while encouraging yourself!!! I love adventure, ecspecially "great adventures", pun intended.  So here we go fasten the seat belt for that second hill that we'll experience on our way to success! Whoa hoooooooooo!

Cherish Life

Last night I was having a heart to heart.  It was kind of hap hazard out of the blue.  Nothing sparked it, nothing provoked it. I just found myself sharing intellectual ideas of life.  Okay, before I bore you let me explain, I am in no way Confucius, or Gandhi or any other deep spiritual guide that sits and ponders the purposes and reasons of existence and for those who may be wondering, I wasn't high!

No, it was just a breeze of reality that smothered my thoughts and the question came to me, if your were to relocate today or tomorrow who would you keep in contact with and if any drastic affair of life were to occur who would be there for support?  Now I am not thinking of any outro or exit that I plan to extinguish my time, before time, but these were my thoughts.  Has my life effected or contaminated anyone enough to be compelled to continue to nurture my children or to lend a helping hand? 

Whose life did I plague to the point that the idea of my disappearance gives relief, who valued my existence enough to find it not robbery to help and aid or nurture me back to the state they once knew of me.  Names went through my mind and many names I thought surely wouldn't allow my legacy to go die, but how long would that zest for another's life continue?  Now I know I took you somewhere I said I wouldn't but these were the thoughts of my heart.  Friends come and go, family grows through birth's and new engagements and decrease by the hand of death and the question is who after the laughter is over, after the tears are cried, the wounds are healed and the victory won will be by your side and care even after the smoke has settled? 

Cherish life not just because you never know when jail, distance, illness, betrayal, or death may come, but cherish it simply because you desire to celebrate the low valley's and the triumphant mountains of life because after all is said and done you never know. 

Negative to positive inspiration for natural Hair