The Simple Love of My Natural Hair

Okay, I am Natural no shock or surprise.  It's quite obvious when you take a glance at the texture of my hair.   I love the freedom that I have with my hair.  I love the way that there's no stress if my hair gets wet.  I love the way that my hair responds when I pamper it.  I love the fact that I can actually eat my products, meaning that the cost of beauty supplies has greatly decreased.

 I must admit that I miss the days of literally washing and literally going.  Those were the days of foundation.  I used those initial day's to spoil, show off and spoil my curls.  That maybe the reason they respond so obediently.  I miss the day's of just wrapping my hair and going to bed.  Finding new styles in my new length and allowing my hair to welcome a friendly conversation is so refreshing.

I realize that the word transition is not isolated to transitioning from perm to natural.  I find myself constantly transitioning from length to length, regimen to regimen and product to product.  Each phase demanding to be recognized for it's new texture and specialized need for care.

 I know that I have options and I know that this is a journey but for now I am enjoying the simplicity of my hair and truly enjoying the journey.  No matter the length, the new Scientology, or the in product, I sincerely am loving the simple nature of my hair.

Finding Your way out of the Storm

You smile, you laugh, you even respond to questions, but where are you.  Behind the mask and the make-up, beyond the status of great a house, awesome job and wonderful kid's where did YOU go?  You keep saying your okay and you have actually begin to believe it, but only long enough to make it through the day or to distract someone close to you into believing the illusion of happiness and contentment that you have created.  Why can't I just believe that I am happy? Because your heart is sending consistent unpleasant reminders in the rhythm of a skipped beat or a racing thump.  Why Can't you believe? Because your stomach is hosting a party for the Botanical Gardens, invitation of 100,000 butterflies to assemble in the lower quadrant of your belly.  Why are you still not believing your okay, after you have convinced yourself for yet another day?  Because your mind runs laps all night as you fight to convince it to give you JUST ONE NIGHT OF REST.  But it can't! It can't stop thinking of the mistakes made that caused this turn, the people lost or the experiences not pursued.  But you can make a decision that your happiness is no longer going to be dictated by your mind, by your physical feelings, your emotional attitude or your social status.  No, today you are going to take control of the thoughts that haunt and keep you bound and imprisoned and you are going to see the clouds dissipate into a bright sun shining future.

How?  How can I train my mind to ignore the very thing that plagues me and frustrates me daily?  How can I ignore the lack or the ignorance that I am daily surrounded by.  I'll tell you how, by simply letting go!  Are you surprised?  Are you upset by my answer?  Did you expect an answer that was somehow rooted into deep meditation and theology?  Maybe you needed a 12 step plan to help you walk daily through the guidelines allowing you to rehearse and re-enact the reason you are in the emotional state that you are in.  I feel you!  My ability to closely relate to the emptiness, the unfulfilled void that longs for purpose and that inability to cope through life's daily bullies qualifies me to be the perfect candidate to tell you to Simply, LET IT GO!!!  I had my own twister in fact I have had to many to number.  But after you scream, like that 2 year old, cry like you just got the whoppin' of your life, kick, swing, fall....And when your through collect yourself, exhale one last time and release it.


Your issues are no surprise to you and they certainly didn't arrive over night, so give yourself a minute to evaluate the cinder block layer's of hurt, and pain that you have allowed to sashay into your life.  Now are you ready? Name that thing one by one, out loud and evict it from your heart.  Remove the debris that has infiltrated the halls of you heart so you can move pass this stage of your life.  I'll do it with you debt you must go I will be prosperous, unforgiveness you can no longer choke the life from me, I forgive now by faith despite the persons apology, depression I decide today that you are no longer needed or wanted I receive Joy and strength and remind myself that my happenings can no longer dictate my happiness! Sigh, breathe embrace yourself look at what you can be when you just take off the mask and make it through the storm.  After all most storms have beautiful rainbow's waiting at the end.  So it isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about finding the strength to make it through the healing process during the storm.

Not about hair, but hear me out!!!

Bible study has left me with a Selah for thought. Those of you who really know me, know that I don't mind being the common day martyr. If a question needs to be asked and your afraid I'll ask, if the majority of us have an issue I'll speak for the people. I've learned years ago that I was a trail blazer, never bothered me none. But tonight at Bible Study as I spoke for those who to often are shot down or misunderstood. I felt the criticism of those I spoke for!! Not to far from a place that I once was, topics of what's perverse can and can't be done etc, etc.

I started thinking about Kirk Franklin's lyrics, when he says that church taught us "how to shout and how to speak in tongues but teacher please teach us how to live NOW once the tongues are done." Some people really just don't know, it doesn't make them carnal or playing, they really just don't know! Life is going on marriage, children, bills, gains, loss, etc... We need specific instructions on how God's word is relevant to manage our lives 2011. (and trust it still has power and yes the bible is our instructions) But until they can hear from the Holy Spirit, our teacher, there are some areas that they may continue to miss until the conviction and relationship with God comes.

 There are areas that to the church may seem taboo, but a new generation of people are arriving they wanna know and understand why a thing is sin, and it won't always be because they operate in rebellion or error but we have to be a people that can be ready to give an in season word. So let's not be the christian that turns up a snooty nose, or the one that runs ahead so far that we forgot when God delivered, from that thing. Allow people to ask, reflect, GROW and the speed that they do will reflect
God's love and compassion that was shown toward them during those seasons of misdirection in their lives!

Sigh... Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 2 Peter 2:2 allow God to nurture those according to the level that they are on.   Although we feed on Him We still are learning DAILY. Thank you Lord for my Pastor, an awesome teacher of God's word and with that I return to...Selah...

Will My New Career Recieve My Natural Strands?

I know that this is a corporate world or society, but are all areas of that society still unreceptive, incompassionate (not really a word but you understand) or plain old ignorant toward our natural stresses.  This is more my point of view than it is a column to inspire or encourage anyone.  Okay, here's the background.  I am searching for a new career; however, I am beginning to feel as if my career search is being hindered by the state of my hair. 

Obviously my skills surfaced above the ca trillion people out there seeking and searching to land the same position that I have applied for yet the return call or initial interview goes to ME!  That alone is something to be excited about and you to will understand if like me you are seeking a new career.  Sadly, somewhere between the call, the interview, and the thank you notes graciously written to exemplify the interviewers words or basically let them know I am still interested...NOTHING!

 I know you think maybe I suck at the interview...Negative I have had mock interviews to drill every question known to man even the unethical ones through colleagues, College professors, friend's, foe's, kid's all putting me in the position of "I'd hire you"  Yes, you probably are saying these people are biased and couldn't drill you as hard as a potential Employer...Negative, I say again.  Many of those mock interviews were done with people who's very career's revolve around this industry and career building, to the point they take pride at having people cry preferably during the process, Shaking my head because I've seen it happen.

I have worn my hair in a bun, the slickest of puffs that at a glance could go for a pony tail.  I have worn my hair super curly and always professional and managed.  Now if you are reading this article and are saying to yourself, (as I initially was) maybe the job just isn't for you, I agree just because I was called and  gave a killer interview doesn't mean that "Uncle Mike" as my competition addressed the interviewer at my last interview, still has to go through the protocol of "offering" the position to other candidates.  Or, maybe your hair wasn't as neat as you thought it was.  I thought this one as well, but had to give myself a raised eyebrow sorta the way they do when they ask me into the interview room. 

If I have to question if my hair is professional enough or accepted for the place that I am interviewing for...then this is not where I NEED or WANT to work.  If my hair in it's tamest form is TOO MUCH for the company applied for, then this isn't where I need to be.  NO, I won't act as such an activist that I refuse career options where the interviewer is so intrigued by my strands that I notice them unconsciously talking to it...okay maybe not so much.  Or that periodically I burst into a "what you lookin' at" or "is there a problem" rant.

I am trying to be reassured after hearing my Arabian Physical Therapist have the need to tell me that he himself preferred African American women that wore their own hair opposed to "the animals they put on there head".  (That is an entirely different hilarious conversation, but reassuring)
 I will simply keep searching and seeking the market that is ready to embrace all of me and remind myself that natural OR relaxed nobody wants an unprofessional staff member representing their company.  So if Jews thick curls, Caucasians flowing locks, and  Asians seamless tresses are accepted in any form then the soft to touch African Americans exotic fullness that my hair possess will wait.

Joy Busters: Anger (An Insensitive Reaction)

This message forward and shared via e-mail and is not my piece. However I found it awesome enough to share.  All credits to the following.

Dr. David Jeremiah

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

Recommended Reading Ephesians 4:25-32

If you've driven a car or been a passenger in one recently, you don't have to be told that anger is an issue in our society. Nearly half of car accidents are speculated to be caused by road rage. It seems that conflicts on the road bring deeper issues to the surface. And, unfortunately, tempers are often the vice of the virtuous. But the Bible clearly tells us that love is not provoked (1 Corinthians 13). Yes, it's possible to be a Christian and struggle with anger. But we should bear in mind the words of theologian Jonathan Edwards, "The grace of God can live with some people with whom no one else could ever live."

So how do we encourage love in a society that tends toward anger? The next time we're faced with an angry person or a situation that would normally warrant an angry response, we can choose to respond in love--allowing that soft answer to turn away anger. But in order to be capable of a gentle, loving response, we need to be constantly connected to the source of love--Jesus Christ!

Anger devours almost all other good emotions. It deadens the soul.
John Piper

 This message forward and shared via e-mail and is not my piece.  However I found it awesome enough to share

Embrace The Stage your in...Even The TWA

Embrace The stage your in...Even if it’s the TWA

So you big chopped now what? You have mastered the all too familiar wash and go and now your bored. You can barely wait to adorn those strands with two strand twist or seductive twist outs and coils that have major hang time. But I warn you not to rush. After all longer hair natural’s envy you in this million degree weather. Embrace the stage that your in and learn from it.

I recently just graduated from what seemed to be an endless time of co wash, apply product and then off to enjoy the cares of life. It couldn't get any better. I was amused by the ease and the liberty that accompanied this new low maintenance style. Yet, 3 months of that and the amusement of how simple it was, was gone! I searched and researched the Internet endlessly trying to find new cute ideas and accessories all while trying to figure out when my first “real” puff would arrive. I knew that only patience would bring what I longed for so I waited, and waited, and waited.

4 months out of my 7 month transition my “growth” came. “ Oh, wow, your hair looks really good and it is growing beautifully!” There, I had the growth that I needed. Let me be clear my hair hadn't gotten any longer than the 3 inches of curls that I had, but the growth came in my maturity. No it wasn't that I lacked confidence because my mind was made up to endure the process once I chopped. The growth came when I learned how to embrace the stage I was in. 

Each stage of my journey from the initial thought has been amazing. My transition allowed me to see that straight hair was not the only way to keep my hair manageable, my big chop allowed me to see that long hair was not the Utopia of beauty, and as my coils and kink’s grow I am learning new hairstyles and how to build health through each stage. Now, I view the stage that I am in as a blessing. I envy the Big chopped girls because after all we are in the dead of summer and let’s face it they have the perfect swimming, and get up and go be fierce hair, and yet I envy the longer haired girls because they have the perfect updo sassy hair. Yet I embrace the stage I am in after all both girls wanna be where us TA’s are LOL. We have the ease of manipulating longer styles to fit our length yet it’s short enough not to work to hard to rock it and becoming overheated. So, as we embrace our stages let’s treat it as we do life. Learn from it, Laugh at it and embrace the stage that we are in.

Although, infancy is the place we all long for in hindsight it’s maturity once reached that we wish we had when we look back.

Fear Abort's Dream's...

I won't edit this.  I want my faults to be exposed.  So for my literary critic's who dare to gaze through the text, be advised that this was from my heart, read with caution (smile).

 An unexpected emotion of encouragement seeped out into the text of this page.   I didn't plan for this to come out but nonetheless it came and now it stand as an encouragement.  Understand that while you wait and prolong your destiny to create GREATNESS that the infancy of your dream may immaturely be aborted.  Oh yeah, that taboo word that we use when we don't want something, can't handle something or just don't have the gut's to continue on with that part of something. Aborted because you rationed that it wasn't  good enough, cool enough, or profitable enough to be birthed.  Then from nowhere a twin to your dream was born.  A twin that looked like the shop, the website, the profession or maybe the adventure that you dreamed.  The one that you couldn't let go and yet was to scared to allow to come to fruition because, your knowledge was low and your money was less and you couldn't get the confident support from the inner voice within and so your dream that you dreamed went dormant and then...aborted.  Away it sifted into the cemetery of dreams where thoughts burst, goals are shattered and normalcy is applauded.  There is a vision that is needed and only you can birth that thing.  So birth it because it doesn't matter how many Restaurants appear or Corporations evolve they all will never amount to the dream the vision or the idea that only you can birth.  After all they all seem to be missing the same chemistry.  They lack your passion, your creativity, your professionalism all wrapped into YOUR compassion.  So again forgive me for the mediocrity of text.  I just wanted to encourage you that you CAN do it...BETTER.  So your computer is light years in the dark ages and you can barely type, go to the library or peck away, but make a step.  So you think that someone else will think it's stupid or useless, and they couldn't be more correct! "WHY" because their not your audience they're not your market, they're not the person that would die if you...ABORT.  I would hate for your life to go by without at least an attempted dream tried.  So go get that free EIN#, tell the world and don't back down.  Dare to dream bigger, higher, faster, stupider, but dream.  Let your childhood ideas begin to overflow out of your mind.  Allow them to seep out of your heart and into the lives of people who have been waiting for the passion and key's to life that you have so long been afraid to let go of because of failure.  If you fail, so what.  Join the many success story's that have conquered defeat and lived to share their success.  So I dare you, To go ahead and birth your dream.  And don't be surprised if you are harboring multiple birth's...But whatever you do don't abort!!!!